Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Twilight Incident

In work today, something nearly made me physically sick.

I work in a jewellers and, today, a woman came in with her mother and her 13-year-old son, looking for a longer charm bracelet than the one she was wearing. She wanted to add more charms and there wasn't enough room on the bracelet she owned.

While looking at the selection my supervisor showed her, she proudly displayed her original charm bracelet and said, "It's my Twilight bracelet!"

My supervisor said, pleasantly, "Ah, really?"

The woman giddily went on: "I've got the wolf head. I've got the bat. I've got the heart. And I need to get this one for her graduation ... And this one for the wedding night because he gives her a special charm in the book but I can't put it on the bracelet yet because I have to wait for the film release ... And I've got all the books ... And loads of posters up ... "

Yeah, it didn't end there.

I could help but look at her 13-year-old son with pity.

It's one thing to be a fan of a series of books ... even if they're not actually aimed at your age group. (My darling friend, Michelle, could tell you all about that. ;-) )

It's even fair enough to get excited about the release of the film adaptations of your favourite books. (I mean, christ, I couldn't stop jumping around waiting for the release of The Time Traveler's Wife adaptation.)

But ... to be a forty-something year-old woman who collects shit like this and gushes in such a sickening way as though Twilight will forever go down in history as THE. BEST. STORY. EVER! is ridiculous.

I could forgive 'tweens and young teenagers for pulling this kind of stuff off. I mean, the series is written for them and I remember how unbelievably crazy I was for Leonardo DiCaprio after the release of Romeo + Juliet and Titanic. That's just what teens do. They collect tokens of their devotion towards some poor sod under contract to act as the perfect boyfriend figure in public.

But, seriously ... It's unbelievably sad how many women there are who look at the Twilight series - those stories about a sparkly emo vampire and an emotionally retarded teen - as though it symbolises something missing from their lives.


I can understand that this sounds completely horrible to this customer but I don't care. This wasn't just "I'm a fan" or "I'm a big fan". It wasn't even "I love this series so much!" This was take-my-breath-away, glazed-eyes swooning over the name of it. I wondered what her 13-year-old boy thought about it ... considering he probably goes to school with a bazillion fans too.

I was listening to a recent Hamish and Andy podcast and they had loads of guys phone in about how they'd had girlfriends dump them after watching Twilight.

Yeah, so I don't know what my point is.

Probably that anyone over the age of 21 who finds themselves spazzing out like this needs to get a grip. ... And maybe a boyfriend. ... And a life.


I'm leaving you with this because it's just hilarious.

A fan of the series recorded their reaction to the New Moon teaser trailer last year. That was hilarious enough because she couldn't care less how geeky she looks (Good on 'er!).

But then this group of guys filmed themselves watching her.

Oh, hilarity ensues.



Faye( Ramblings of a Teenage Bookworm) said...

WOW....that is classic! I like Twilight and everything but i will not be 40 something and still be obsessed w/ Twilight.

A twilight charm bracelet what was she thinking...i feel sorry 4 the son too. i wonder what she is like at home lol*don't hunt me down karma!*

The Bookworm said...

wow. I did love the first three Twilight books, but I wouldnt go as far as to gush that badly over them. That woman does need to act her age!
OMG and her poor son, how embarrassing!!!
'an emotionally retarded teen'<- lol...the one thing I didnt like about Twilight was Bella.

haha, the video clip you posted is too funny. why is she crying though???

L said...

Thank you.
Thank you for that clip. Those guys were hilarious! This mania is just plain weird. I just don't get it the fascination with this series. That woman in the clip is clearly a nutjob. And so is the woman with the weirdo charm bracelet. Get a life woman!

Michelle said...

Oh dear. If that lady is a fan by gushing so blatantly in public, then I am afraid I have crossed over to the crazy side as well. You see, I have a calendar and a Pocket Edward, and bookmarks, and my husband gave me a Valentine's Day card with Jacob and Edward on it. Yes, I do have Alice's choker (from the movie). But I do not put myself in league with your customer today. The reason why? I do not gush in public. If I wear the choker, I wear it because I like it, but I do not share with others where I found it. Pocket Edward makes an appearance in public whenever I am feeling silly. The bookmarks, calendar, and card were gifts from others. I know I would never have purchased them myself. I also know that part of the fact that I got them was because my family and friends were giving me gag gifts - knowing they were silly, that I would laugh and use them anyway. Does this put me in the same category as your customer? I would like to think that I can keep my crazy little fascination with the series to myself without publicizing it to the world. Then again, maybe I am just as crazy. ***Sigh***

Violet said...

hmmm...thats really wierd, but each to his own I guess.

Crazy Video by the way :)

Magenta said...

Wow, that clip was actually really funny. A reaction of a reaction... I am totally on the guy's side. The CrazyMadam is waaay too obsessed.

I love the Twilight Saga. I've read all the books in quick succession (even Midnight Sun online), seen the 1st and 2nd movie and look forward to seeing all the rest, and I revel in the fact that me and Bella share the same zodiac sign. But I am NOT one of those loony fans who drool all over the vampires!

Though I have to admit, I personally loved how the wolves were done in New Moon. And Taylor Lautner is hot. ^_^

Charlie said...

I rather liked Twilight, but there were some serious problems with it, like the caption says on that photo of Edward.

I think there would be less of the behaviour you've described had it not been made into a film but regardless one day that woman will look back and feel silly.

serendipity_viv said...

I can only think that the woman in the jewellers has something missing in her life. She seriously needs to get out more and live life.

Though saying that I have got a Twilight mug, but in my defense it was a present and I have a vast collection of different mugs.

Guinevere said...

I don't own any Twilight swag of any type, but I did enjoy the books. Even that is just slightly embarrassing.

I do think you can be an adult who takes joy in kid stuff, like Harry Potter or Twilight, and not be weird. But... that lady sounds crazy. And video lady is also crazy.