Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Tuesday - The Queen's Culinary Meme.

1) If you could put thyme in a bottle, what is the first thing you'd like to do?
Sprinkle it into four cups of tea and give them to Take That (along with a few more dashes of 'natural' herbs and a heavy dose of 'personality and charisma'). Then we'll see how those Northern boys handle life on the wild side. (No truer lyrics have been sung than 'Everything changes but you' ... Zzzzzz ...)

2) Do eggs really crack or do they merely have a nervous breakdown?
They feel sad about life one day, go to the egg doctor, get pumped with million of happy pills, and become a statistic along with 80% of the Western world.

3) Why are you whipping the butter? What did it ever do to you?
It's been a very bad boy. (And also enjoys an occasional dose of light ear nibbling.)

4) Do your spoons spoon in the drawer? Have you ever noticed? And more importantly, if wooden spoons spoon do they get splinters?
My spoons do not spoon. They repel each other quite viciously. The wooden spoons are very fond of the whisks.

5) You hear: "Dumpling, my Dumpling, come hither." The candles are lit, the fondue is dipping, the Godiva is pouring, the scallions are steaming and the music is playing ... but wait, the windows are open.
Why did you close them?
Because the dish ran away with the spoon and life is now super awkward.

6) Do you need a recipe to cook or are you a bohemian chef? Show us your reckless and wild side in the kitchen. Don't have one? Here's a recipe I made just for you: You will need a spatula, a whisk, a gallon of Chardonnay, a banana and a rump roast.
What is the name of your dish?
It's called 'Lady Lazarus throws up all over her ingredients because the Queen made her put a dead animal in her kitchen.' Sorry, your majesty. :-(

7) After dinner, the dishes are so dirty that the dishwasher refuses to wash them.
What did they say to get in hot water?
They said: "When £!$%*$£& told &^"* she was ^£%^£$, you pulled the ^"&£(3 into the &%"£ and you know it!"

8) Is your pot black?
Does that matter in this day and age? Tut tut.

9) What is the sexiest spice or condiment in your cabinet? What makes it so?
'Chilli' ... good for making things hot. ;-)

10) How much crock is really in your crock pot?
My crock pot is full of crock. Every single day. Don't listen to it. Really.  


j said...

Spoon and Whisk? I am pro inter-utensil love.

Ceri said...

Hehe. Hopefully one day the whole world will be that accepting.