Friday, 25 September 2009

50 Things That Should Not Exist

Because it's Friday and I'm too lazy to think of something original, I've decided to post this list I found of 50 Things That Should Not Exist because we all need a good giggle at the end of the week and most of these I couldn't agree more with.

I've put in bold which ones I particularly agree with. Fun!

1. Headaches.

2. Stupid, uncomfortable chairs.

3. People who sharpen their pencils slowly.

4. Stores that check your receipt as you exit, making you feel like a criminal.

5. Mean cats.

6. Soft Jazz.

7. People who cut paper slowly.

8. Disease.

9. Big scary bugs with many legs.

10. Tuna salad with celery.

11. Celery.

12. Food service employees who assume that when you said, "No tomatoes," you were lying.

13. Mysterious sticky spots on desks.

14. Mysterious warm sections in pools.

15. The phrase, "We need to give it 110%."

16. Long sales receipts that include a code at the bottom for an online survey, that, when completed, will enter you for a chance to win a gift card. (We never win, and yet we always get our hopes up.)

17. Blisters on the back of the ankle caused by new shoes.

18. Parody versions of the Happy Birthday Song.

19. Grass (Because you'd think by now it would have evolved and learned that if it grows, it will get mowed.)

20. Facial hair (For the same reason as grass.)

21. Tiny cups of coleslaw served at diners.

22. Remakes of bad horror movies.

23. Back-of-the-knee sweat.

24. Greeting cards with glitter.

25. Televised poker.

26. Splinters.

27. Wheat Pennies and Bicentennial Quarters (Because we never know if it's OK to spend them, or if we should save them.)

28. Wisdom teeth.

29. The Hills on MTV.

30. Poverty.

31. Fluctuating speed limits on long stretches of heavily patrolled road.

32. Popped collars.

33. People with tattoos written in a language that they cannot speak.

34. Hurricanes.

35. Teachers with coffee breath.

36. Ziggy comic strips.

37. DVD commentaries in which the commentators simply describe what is happening on the screen while congratulating themselves. (E.G. "OK, so then he's going to pick up the phone. This is such a great scene. Now, he's going to say something.")

38. Racism.

39. Park benches that are still wet from the storm that came through about two hours ago.

40. Anti-matter. (This isn't an annoyance, but instead, is something that should not exist.)

41. Product placement visible in most TV shows and movies.

42. Elderly relatives on social networking sites.

43. Bathroom stalls that don't have doors.

44. Any arcade game or toy vending machine that costs more than 50 cents.

45. Prickly bushes that are in close proximity to the basketball court or the bottom of sledding hills.

46. Waiting rooms with a TV smaller than 13 inches.

47. The fact that Shakespeare in Love beat out Saving Private Ryan for the Academy Award for Best Picture.

48. Traffic. (Especially if the cause of the traffic is a mystery even after the traffic jam eases up.)

49. People who tell you about the concert that you didn't go to.

50. The last 20 minutes of Peter Jackson's The Return of the King (other than the last part, it's a pretty cool movie).

I can't imagine many people having issues with any of those things on the list. The question is: What else would you add to the list? Leave it in the comments. :)  


serendipity_viv said...

What's wrong with celery! That is a mad list.

Peter S. said...

Hi Ceri! The list is so funny! Although, I disagree with you about grass. I love it, especially if they grow wildly.

Violet said...

LOL...I loved everyone of them even though I didn't agree with a couple.

I love Greeting cards with glitter :)

I totally agree with "Elderly relatives on social networking sites.", I know what a nightmare it is.

Violet said...

I'll add this

Aunties who think your single self needs to be introduced to every single guy at a wedding.

I'm so glad I don't have to worry about that any more :)

The Bookworm said...

fun post!
I agree with lots of these especially 'Stores that check your receipt as you exit, making you feel like a criminal.'

I'd add crabby ass co-workers and demented family members to the list. Oh, and serial killers too :) And traffic jams.

Sheila (bookjourney) said...

LOL all the way through

Joanne ♦ The Book Zombie said...

Love the list! It makes me feel less horrible about those days when the smallest thing makes me cranky for hours :P

Melody said...

Yikes! I can't imagine bathroom stalls that don't have doors!!
I enjoyed reading the list though, hehe.

Ceri said...

Vivienne - Haha, I actually don't like celery either so I agree with whoever wrote this list. ;-)

Peter - Oh, I love the grass one. :-D I must be the only person in the world who doesn't like the smell of cut grass.

Violet - Haha! Glitter gets everywhere. It's so girly. I guess that's the tomboy aspect of me. ;-) Oh, I hate the single girl thing - I have a boyfriend but nowadays I'm getting plenty of "So, when are you two getting hitched?" *rolls eyes*

Naida - Haha, the list goes on!

Sheila - :-D

Joanne - Yeah, it's always the smallest things, isn't it? It's a good thing we can laugh about them though.

Melody - You'd be surprised how many bathroom stalls don't have locks in nightclubs in Cardiff. You're desperate for a wee but trying to keep the door shut at the same time - awful! hehe

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