I thought I'd seen everything ...

WARNING!!! THIS POST CONTAINS, ER, 'EXPLICIT' MATERIAL. NOT SAFE FOR WORK.
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18+ ONLY (I GUESS)
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This blog isn't strictly about books. It's not even strictly about films. It's about anything artistic or creative or anything that takes my interest. What I'm about to talk about made my jaw hit the floor.
I'm referring, of course, to this (click for picture) - The Twilight Dildo! Now you can really know what it's like to have Edward Cullen ... y'know. Oh, God.

It sparkles - just like Edward's would ... if he was real ... which he's not - stop kidding yourself. I see this thing in two scenarios which involve the true hardcore Twihards (Not the 'Oh, *gush*gush* Edward and Bella's story is so romantic' ones, but the batshit crazy ones who stalk Pattinson and ask him to bite them.)

Scenario 1 - The 'Middle-Aged housewife who takes charge of the stalking parties' - "Oh, Edward - do it to me before my husband comes home. I always knew you'd come for me."

Scenario 2 - The 'Tween/Teen - "Oh, Edward, I always knew you'd be my first."

In the case of Scenario 2, this thing will leave a lot to be answered for when said user finally finds a real man and wonders why his thing ain't sparkling. Oh, yeah, and you can also stick it in the fridge apparently - It gets it nice and cold ... for that 'authentic' experience.

Forgive me for being so cynical - it's not the books or films that bring it out in me. It's the mass hysteria that surrounds them.

I'm hoping they get Pattinson on a show like Graham Norton's to promote his non-Twilight film - Norton's the kind of host who would take out this thing and have Pattinson confront it.

Oh, btw, in case you are thinking of getting one, it's called 'The Vamp'. (We wouldn't want Stephenie Meyer to sue now, would we?)